Wednesday, January 4, 2012

confessions of a cryer

Hi my name is Abbie and I am a crier!

 I can't believe I am admitting it in a public place.  Something has happened to me since I have been in my 30's. I Cry a LOT, and over the silliest things. Now some people probably chalk it up to hormones, but I think I have just gotten soft in my old age. Don't get me wrong I have never been opposed to crying, even though it is the most unattractive look I posses. The splotchy cheeks, the snot the swollen lip, yeah not pretty! But I have been known to shed a few tears here and there in front of people, but to be  honest the past 3 years it seems as though I have no strength to stop the water works. As women we  sometimes tend to be more emotional than our male counterparts but I feel as though I have become a blubbering ball of snot and tears.  The crying does not just come at horrible, depressing moments but in every day moments...reading some article, talking with a friend about what they are learning from the Father, hearing an inspiring story, watching a movie...the list goes on.

 I was at a wedding this past fall and I sat and watched my sister being seated (she was the mom of the bride) and as soon as I saw her walking down the aisle, I lost it!! I cried through the whole entire ceremony. My cousin leaned over to me and said "since when do you start crying at weddings?" To be honest I felt super defensive and thought "I have always been a softy." This is true, I have always had a soft spot but I guess I never cried in response to it.  I keep thinking I need to find a cure, to take some vitamin or change my diet or just "suck it up" but I think the real answer is I need  to embrace it.  Maybe it's part of getting older, part of embracing being a woman of compassion and just pray that the emotions don't rule my life but are a response to the beauties around me.  Whatever the reason I feel a tug in my heart to be thankful for the tears and to try so hard to stop them. 

So if anyone out there relates I would love to hear your comments, suggestions and concerns. If you have found some secret formula to control the tears and keep them at bay at inappropriate moments that too, I would be appreciative to hear. Or maybe like me you just need say the confessions of a crier then go ahead, confess away.